I love sunflower metaphors.
I love impersonating Kristin Chenoweth in the solidarity of my Subaru.
I love watching magic tricks while drunk.
I love everything about New Zealand - except for the price of the food.
I love the Oregon coast on overcast afternoons.
I love that I will never have to fill out another
fucking FAFSA application for as long as I goddamn live.

I love argyle on men.
I love waistcoats on women.
I love Miyazaki heroines.
I love shoving entire hamburgers into my face.

I love Jim Henson and everything that he did.
I love John Oliver and everything that he’s doing.
I love Sophie Turner, Samira Wiley, and Emma Stone unapologetically.

I love the sight of the Portland cityscape as I drive
across the Hawthorne bridge at dusk.
I love philosophizing Muppets and Jurassic Park.
I love creme brulee flavored coffee creamer.
I love clawfooted bathtubs.
I love tattoos that tell stories.
I love Christmas time and how romantic it makes me feel.

And

I love... puppies. Okay, wait, wait, I do.
I love dogs dogs dogs so incredibly much.
I love videos of baby sloths squeaking and porcupines eating pumpkins.
I love red pandas being spooked and teacup pigs
leaping into oceans of oatmeal.
I love that little loris clutching that umbrella. It is so momentous in my life.

And

I love hands in my hair.
I love made up words to make me smile.
I love bedtime stories about swans or ballroom dancing
or Sonic the Hedgehog.
I love the gravitational pull of a palm to another.
I love this sense of certainty.

And.
And.

I love you … nicorns.
I love you … letide festivities.
I love you … wes, as in sheep.
I love you … of O for bringing my parents together.
I love you … FO movies but only if Will Smith is present.
I love you … niversity football. (That one’s not even true.)
I love you … gandan men.
I love you … goslavian women.
I love you … l Brynner.
I love you … -Gi-Oh playing card Dark Magician Girl.
I love you … ’re a Good Man Charlie Brown the musical.
I love you … Were Cool” my second favorite song
by The Mountain Goats.

I love. I love.
I love endlessly.
I say “I love” countless times throughout each day.
I say it of animals, fandoms, friends,
food, weather, technology, dogs especially.
I say “I love” so often
that it might as well have lost all meaning,
so why are the words suddenly
clawing their way back down my throat?

Maybe because it’s taken
twenty-four years to rip the seams.
A quarter of my life of mediocre dates,
detached partners, half-hearted lovers.
Two and a half decades
of unreturned sunflower metaphors.

Now context is key,

but you cannot deny how
there is something so romantic
about this absurd amount of bravery,
and you can't help but quiver in wonder:

"Well, what if it’s all a smoke screen?"
"What if we're sitting on a loaded gun?"
“What if this avalanche destroys?”
"What if you … don't say it back?"

You…
I love…
so much so often,

but you
are at the top
of every single one of my lists.